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This Sleep Retreat Taught Me You Can’t Force Sleep

I almost let out an audible sigh of relief the moment I set foot in Grand Velas Riviera Nayarit, the all-inclusive resort I’d be staying at for the weekend. I was greeted with a cool towel, a refreshing hibiscus tea and a five-minute massage. The quick massage wasn’t just physical relief. It felt like the first exhale after holding my breath for too long. I hadn’t realized how much tension I was carrying from a morning of flight delays. I was so glad to have arrived, and this set the tone for what would certainly be the most relaxing weekend of my life.

The resort grounds were stunning, with a breathtaking view of Banderas Bay. There were multiple pools to lounge next to, and staff members were attentive in ensuring needs were met. Families in matching white outfits posed for photographs, looking like they walked right out of an advertisement. The gentle rustling of palm trees in the breeze added to the soothing ambiance. Activity boards displayed the events of each day—from daytime activities, like water volleyball, to nighttime entertainment, like karaoke and fire dancers. From the immaculate landscaping to the small details—such as the option to feed the fish in the ponds—it was clear everything had been meticulously considered in creating the perfect escape.

The goal of my visit to this sleep retreat paradise was to sleep

But I wasn’t just here to enjoy the amenities of the resort. I carried with me a singular goal: to sleep well. I was here to “fix” my sleeping habits with the Grand Velas sleep retreat package. This was my chance to reset my sleep patterns—to finally find rest in a place designed for exactly that. My sleep retreat package included a sleep therapy session, hydrotherapy, aromatherapy essence for my suite and a foot reflexology session—all tailored to help achieve the relaxation I so desperately needed.

Sinking into relaxation with a soothing spa ceremony

Before heading to my sleep therapy treatment, a spa attendant led me through the Grand Velas Water Ceremony. This ceremony was more than just a sequence of spa treatments. It was a space to transition from the outside world before my sleep treatment. As I lay in the sauna with cucumbers placed on my eyes, I felt soothed, but my mind soon drifted to my to-do list and the things I’d forgotten to add. I needed to write all this down, but my phone was safely tucked away in a cubby. I felt so unproductive. Changing my strategy, I focused on my breathing, on the sensation of heat on my body and the sweat slowly bubbling up. It struck me that I couldn’t remember the last time I’d sat in silence with no distractions. It was uncomfortable. I wasn’t used to being so still.

As I moved from station to station, dipping in and out of contrasting temperatures, I noticed that the shock of the ice scrub followed by the heavy heat of the steam room began to quiet my mind. The silence that had initially felt unnerving was now settling into my mind, and I felt the grip of my to-do list loosening. I felt so relaxed that I was ready for a nap before my sleep treatment had even begun.

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A sleep treatment designed to lull you to slumber

My sleep treatment consisted of acupressure, aromatherapy and heat treatments—each designed to offer a glimpse into how quickly one could fall asleep in the right environment. After an hour of gentle massage, my therapist turned on a SNOOZ machine and guided me through deep breathing exercises. I could barely keep my eyes open as she whispered she’d be back in a little while. I nodded, already dozing off. After a 20-minute nap that felt like an eternity, she gently woke me, leading me through a few yoga poses to do at bedtime. I left the session feeling both rested and invigorated. This sleep therapy was certainly working.

Performance anxiety thwarted my efforts to sleep

When night came, I was so eager to see how my sleep would improve. But despite the soft linens, the soothing aromatherapy and the gentle sounds of the ocean, I found myself tossing and turning. Somehow, I just couldn’t sleep. The longer I stayed awake, the more pressure I felt to “perform” sleep. It was as if I were failing a test. I had invested time and energy into this experience, expecting to come away with a newfound ability to rest, but it wasn’t until the early hours of the morning that I finally fell into slumber.

The next day, a similar experience unfolded. I went through the water ceremony and my foot reflexology treatment, emerging with a sense of calm and rest. But when night came around, I couldn’t sleep again. Performance anxiety had taken hold. In my quest to “perform” sleep, I had created an internal tension that no amount of external comfort could resolve. It wasn’t the fault of the sleep retreat or the environment; it was the pressure I placed on myself to achieve a perfect outcome. And before I could do anything about it, I was already on the plane home.

Trying to access blissful sleep once I returned home

Back home, I started incorporating some of the techniques I’d learned at Grand Velas. I built in more buffer time to unwind before bed, doing a few minutes of yoga poses and spraying a quick mist of aromatherapy in my room. I needed to create a space for silence. One small step was to charge my phone away from the bedside to have more non-screen time.

The first night, I set my phone on the dresser across the room, and a sense of unease settled in. Had I really become this tethered to my device? As bedtime approached, I felt the familiar urge to check my emails—what if something important had come through? Even without the constant stream of notifications, my mind was racing. But I remembered the stillness I had found during the water ceremony when I focused on my breath and bodily sensations. Leaning into that memory, I took a deep breath and let the quiet settle in, slowly feeling the noise inside me soften.

What I learned at the sleep retreat is helping me pave the way to better rest

This small shift marked the beginning of a broader change in how I approached my downtime. The retreat taught me that achieving rest and silence in our lives isn’t something that happens overnight. Our sleeping habits—and self-care routines—don’t operate with an on/off switch. They require patience and gradual improvement. One weekend, no matter how well-designed, couldn’t undo years of restless nights and ingrained habits.

Instead, the sleep retreat became a starting point, offering me a deeper understanding that rest is as much about managing our expectations as it is about creating the right environment. By embracing small moments of silence and taking incremental steps, I began to see improvement. While my sleep score isn’t perfect every night, it has certainly improved since I started making these changes.

Photo by Prostock-Studio/Courtesy of Shutterstock

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